''MY MORNING JACKET'' Wearable Fabric Sculptures
I wore these Jackets even before they have existed. Every
one of them!
Some for a long time, some long enough for a butterfly!
My arms! My long, talented arms reach, collect and
craft. They enveloped me when there was
no one around. They padded on my back or hugged me when I need it. My arms made
my jackets for me! Whom I need more in my solidarity when I have my long,
loving arms with me.
It is so much vulnerable, revealing what made you this
sensitive in the first place. It takes immense courage to open even greater to
carry on and get to the finish line. If you happen to have a habitual tendency,
you know how impossible to find that reason not to quit, not to go back. And if
you hang there long enough, you get to taste how beautiful and satisfying it is
to complete a project that you have input your energy for ten years. It is
discharging as well as it`s healing. This one here so big that I had to face my
episodes that created my personal development. And made actual jackets out of
them! The more it got explicit, the more it became healing.
I chose to reshape the dough by accepting the quality but
not giving up on creativity.
That is me!!
Becoming
an artist / University
Mixed Media, including synthetic fur, wool, cotton yarns and silk.
132x50x30
When one first
dives into the universe of art, the knowledge has received is so profound that
it does not match or ingrain your comprehension. There is a high possibility
that causes you to mix or use whatever you learnt yet to digest data in
eccentric styles. When you start creating, the new data and your old habitual
understanding are on a free flow. Chances for your art pieces are from
disheveled to hyperbolic.
This piece is an
example of that becoming process. It is kitsch you do without knowing it. Until
you deepen your material and your tools in this universe, you blind fall onto
things either serve you or not.
Love
Mixed media, including lace and cotton yarns.
140x55x42
This jacket is a
love letter to my first love. It had worn for a brief period were almost left
no marks on the skin but deep lines in memory. I only really fell in love once.
I knew this feeling; it felt new, something never experienced before; I did not
know that would never happen again!
It transformed me
tremendously, where I got into another realm. It swallowed me in wholly and
tended my wounds, mended my tears. It opened every little hidden piece to be
seen, heard, and acknowledged.
His love made me
who I am by learning what I am, but it was all commended.
Mix Media, including lace, woven fabric.
160x60x30
A shadow followed me around for a decade. It made
me pull out every memory of him, every moment of our history from dusty shelves
and question them, analysis them repeatedly. The guilt that came with it
grappled upon me. It sucked the life slowly out of me. The joy, happiness, and
gratitude have lost them all—nothing left for love to flourish.
I lived in this everlasting loop for a decade, and every
time I thought I got over it, it would hit me with something that I had
forgotten around the corner, and I would get rolled back in the same hallow. I
was never right. I never did well.
Its friendly mien became familiar with mine that now, it
was part of my love.
I could not love you anymore, so I continue loving your grief.
The Battle
in Istanbul
Mixed media, including beads, embroidery, cotton yarns and buttons.
125x55x33
The best
camouflage was to cover yourself with flowers and roses, but do not forget you
are still a warrior, which this is still an armor.
This jacket had
created itself from blood, sweat and tears and became completed when it was
time to take it off.
The war zone was a
workplace, and this never-ending battle had taken place in every direction
possible with everyone from top to bottom in the hierarchy.
It lasted for
three and a half years, every day.
Every day, the
fight had gone on and on. It took me that long to realize I was alone on the
battlefield; I was the only one who fought for the right, for good, for the
beauty.
I gave up!
It was bigger than
I could ever change, so I did not want to spend my years trying to change
something, so many people continue making it worse.
I was defeated.
Melbourne
/ Waitressing
Mixed media including buttons, tulle, and original apron apron pieces.
170x45x30
I was 100% ok with
being a waitress before I came.
How much longer it
could go on or how bad it could be anyway?
I knew what to
expect already as I tasted a little bit of it when I was at university, working
for extra money.
Then boom!!..
The situation was
different because it was a profession here. Little that I know, to survive
these jobs, you must give up on your personality. I understood that very
hurting reality after a year in hospitality. I got treated like a servant more
than a waitress. I got asked many personal questions, advised, or commented on
every aspect of my life deprecatingly. It squeezed me in a particular shape.
In return.
``Sisshh, you
cannot say that to the customer!!!``
``No, no. You
cannot wear that or put on that!!``
``Keep it,
professional!!``
``We are here to
give customers our best service!!``
I was getting
sunk; I was disappearing.
I became an
excellent waitress outside, but I miss myself every day!
It thought me a
lot about how to judge a character but poisoned my own.
Here was my chosen
home, not the destined one. I followed my dreams to this far, far country,
expecting more to be. I luggage pockets full of plans and ideas to carry with
me, waiting to be told and finding a body.
Waitressing could
not cover nor kill my reality!
Bloom.
Mixed media, including tulle, lace, imitated beads, punch, and diamonds.
150x45x35
This is my
becoming!!
Bloom represents
my last episode of becoming jacketless and turning to my original skin.
It is blooming with all possibilities and revealing herself to the world during the most vulnerable and beautiful state. She becomes her own greatest strength to be what or who she is without fear or whatnot.
As much as she is fragile, she is aware of circler endlessness. The power of being who you are is the most invaluable gift in this circle where you get to experience what you are.
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